The Nutter Who Has Wood Stained His Roof

If you are feeling down about yourself, going through a period of self loathing or generally feeling life hasn’t panned out as well as you’d hope. Hell, at least you are not as sad as this chap.

Nature is a wonderful thing and should be treated with respect. Failing to do so can go horribly wrong.

There is an estate near us I drive past and walk through. It is almost entirely made up of retired persons. In a relatively prosperous area, said retired persons lack imagination on where to waste their retirement pot.

On this particular estate of 1980’s houses, a couple of separate homeowners hired the services of a firm to blast the moss and lichen off their roof tiles. In itself a ridiculous waste of money. They add a spot of character and authenticity to an otherwise non descript estate. The houses on the estate were all built at the same time and the roofs are all as you would expect with a smattering of roof foliage. Nothing out of sorts. Sadly though for the two homeowners, with nothing better to spend their money on and indeed with their time, other than procrastinating on what to do with their roof foliage, it did not end up well. The solution used by the firm was well over the top and the roofs ended up sticking out like a sore thumb in a new sickly yellow finish having gone through the roofing equivalent of chemotherapy.

Many people who go through the hideous treatment of chemotherapy end up losing their hair and treat the problem by simply disguising with a wig.

Having considered what to do in the case of the yucky yellow roof, the homeowner has hired someone to cuprinol a dark stain on it. Of course it look just as stupid, indeed it looks like a new roof and that the homeowner merely has tired of his perfectly good roof and put a new set of tiles on like a nutter.

So yes, someone has truly wood stained their roof with Cuprinol. And made it look worse and we await with baited breathe the third stage of the roof enhancement.

So fear not, at least for all your weaknesses and failures in life you haven’t swooped so low as to wood stain your roof. The moral of the tale, is do not piss about with your roof unless you need to, roofs have moss and lichen. It is natural. Do not waste your retirement fretting needlessly. Poor soul