Lewes FC today announced another of their ‘game changing’ ‘smart’ ideas.
They have struck a deal with Lewes District Council to convert the Mountfield Road grass bank into an allotment.
A board spokesman explained. ‘It’s not as mad as it seems, strict rules have to be adhered to as the Dripping Pan stadium is a national football monument. As the grass bank along the Mountfield Road is a listed bank we have had to seek permission to grow some more magic money trees as our mismanagement has seen our operating profits soar and income stagnate. The grass bank is ideal a sit is south facing. Obviously we will not turn it into an allotment. The council initially refused but we found a loop hole that stated if we became members of the National Allotment Society we would be able to plant two magic money trees in a listed area of national interest. So needs must’
We have involved the local community and the local primary schools voted to name the magic money trees Charlie and Eddie. Charlie is a mixed gender name so this fits in with our gender parity stance.
Asked who was funding the trees the spokesman tersely replied. ’In the normal spirit of transparency we are renowned for at Lewes FC….OH ! is that the time ….. must dash.’
It is thought the club are currently looking for sponsors for the project but none we understand have been forthcoming.
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