A round of applause for our new guest blogger themountfieldtoad!
Welcome to the tragicomic opera that is Lewes FC, a club that has somehow become the footballing embodiment of a Shakespearean tragedy. Except, in this case, it’s less “Romeo and Juliet” and more “The Comedy of Errors,” with fewer laughs and a lot more bureaucratic bloat.
A Season of Two Halves (and Only One Was Decent)
Let’s start with the facts. After the previous 15 games of relegation-standard football , Lewes FC has amassed a grand total of 13 points, just 2 above fourth from bottom in the form league, the dreaded drop zone. Without the bangers we picked up early in the season, we’d already be hurtling toward relegation faster than you can say “mismanagement.”
Credit where it’s due: Craig Nelson started the season like a man on a mission. With one of the league’s smallest budgets, he pulled off a minor miracle, assembling a brand new squad that not only played swashbuckling football but also gathered points like draws and losses were going out of fashion. Those early wins are the only reason we’re not staring down the barrel of the Isthmian League South abyss right now. Burgess Hill here we come….!
Opponents have figured us out, while the team has hit a wall. The result? A relegation scrap that promises to drag into next season unless something changes dramatically. The stats are clear, unless there is a dramatic investment in the men’s team relegation looms next season. As they say, lightning doesn’t strike twice, so don’t expect a sudden rush of points early doors next season.
Boardroom Shenanigans: Bureaucracy 1, Football 0
And what has the board done to address the team’s struggles? Strengthened the squad? Supported the manager? Oh no, rather than sign someone to go on dizzying runs and plomp the ball in the net they have signed someone to write long dizzying emails, something far more visionary: they hired a Chief Operating Officer. Because when your team can’t score, what you really need is someone in a suit who can reorganize the filing cabinets.
Now, I’ve run a business, and let me tell you, I’ve yet to see a COO turn around a relegation threatened side. Perhaps our new bureaucratic saviour will manage the spreadsheet equivalent of a hat-trick, but forgive me if I’m sceptical. The real tragedy here is the misplaced priorities. Instead of backing Nelson, who’s already pulled off miracles, they’ve opted for infrastructure over impact.
The Great Share Issue: Promises, Promises
Ah, the share issue proposal. A shiny new hope dangled before us like a carrot on a very long stick. But let’s not kid ourselves, there’s no guarantee this money will go toward strengthening the squad. It seems more likely it’ll vanish into the black hole of “balancing the books” or funding yet another ill-fated attempt at becoming a “big” club. The annual fayre of a deluded club who continue to consider ourselves a lot bigger and a lot more important than we really are.
Supporters are being asked to believe that this time will be different. But history suggests otherwise. The past three seasons have been a revolving door of failed initiatives, with little to show for it except a growing pile of administrative expenses.
The Players: Fighting Against the Tide
Meanwhile, what does all this mean for the players? Imagine knowing you’re not quite good enough and desperately needing reinforcements, only to see the club invest in…a new job title. Confidence can’t be sky high when the lads on the pitch are left to fight with what they’ve got, while the board focuses on making the office look shiny.
Looking Ahead: A Bleak Future
So, here we are, sleepwalking into next season, hoping there are four teams worse than us. Is this our strategy, focussing on winning the title for the largest bureaucracy? Yay, well done chaps. There is the head of communibrandingmarketing lifting the title for the largest and crappest bureaucracy.
If we are to avoid another season of misery, or worse, relegation, the board needs to get its act together. Support the manager. Strengthen the squad. And for the love of football, stop treating the club like a corporate pet project. Nelson is a gem and there is no guarantee he will want to spend another season enwrapped in the Lewes FC tragi-comedy
Otherwise, we’ll be here again next season, writing another blog about how Lewes FC’s board managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of customary mediocrity and we can cruise past Wivesfield on the way to Burgess Hill.
The Rights of Fans. 