by Chris Harris
Britains security establishment has been thrown into crisis again. With the authorities already on high alert following the five arrests at RAF Fairford, controversial sitings of UFO’s have been revealed. Police and the Ministry of Defence are urgently reviewing footage of strange cylindrical objects leaving and entering the long concrete roads within the compound. The huge UFOs reputedly travel at hundreds of miles an hour. An eyewitness has claimed they have long metal platforms sticking out of the cigar shaped forms, almost like the wings of an albatross, with an indecipherable motif which reputably reads a little like USAF.
Local trainspotter Nigel got wind of the story and before the air space was closed down sent his drone over the site. The footage has not been seen as he is currently negotiating the rights, but he claims there were a number of camouflaged aliens walking around. He has furthermore claimed there are huge oval tankers of fuel, fuelling speculation of an imminent alien attack.
COBRA Convenes
Andy Burnham is so concerned at the developments he has called another COBRA meeting of top officials. “I am deeply concerned by the allegations of fraud at Manchester City and can assure you the club’s owners are great and welcome to continue to help prop up our ailing economy.” He told his Tik Tok followers. He then got his guitar out and strummed Give Peace a Chance.
Bad Actors Chime In
Inevitably, the Russian and Iranian media have attempted to undermine the unravelling story. Outrageously they have claimed the mysterious objects are actually allied military aircrafts, the aliens American serviceman and the reckless supplies of subversive fuels are just deposits of aviation fuel.
Trump Lambasts the Fake News
An angry Donald Trump, furious at the allegations responded a few hours ago. “Of course they’re aliens. Beautiful, beautiful UFOs and aliens. Just incredible. Russia and Iran are saying they are US forces. Fake news. Ridiculous fake news. These are UFOs and aliens, period. One hundred and ten per cent.
What we know so far is investigators have revealed, having spoken to locals, that it is suspected these UFOs have amazingly been regularly spotted. Local farmer Jez Budd told reporters. “Yeah, it’s weird, it’s about time someone took interest in these things maaaan! Hey, I’ve got some magic mushrooms in my field if you fancy seeing them yourselves.”
